Around the Dating World in 90 Days – Date 6

Goals:

I’m committing to 90 days of social dating in order to

  1. Learn more about myself to gain clarity on who and what makes me happy and fulfilled in a romantic partnership
  2. Relax and have a great time

Bachelor #2 Date 2
Location: Besta-Wan Pizza (Encinitas)

  1. On a level of 1-10 (1=We barely speak the same language, 10=We must know each other from past lives), rate your connection: 8
  2. Did I enjoy myself? YES
  3. Do I like what he does for a living? Yes
  4. Does he care about self-development? No
  5. Did he treat me with kindness and respect? Yes
  6. Highlights:
    1. Friendly service and delicious pizza at Besta-Wan. Plus they had this jukebox that played old school low rider music – had a very cool, laid back, beach-y romantic vibe
    2. Seeing a different part of Encinitas. I’ve been to Encinitas several times before to see the beach, the bakeries, and the gardens. So having local pubs and pizzerias pointed out to me was fun and a different take on a place I’ve visited often
    3. Gentleman: Picked me up, opened doors, paid for dinner, walked me to my door to say good night

What did I learn about myself on this date?
I’m truly a sucker for wit and charm. B#2 and I had been texting since our first date and he’s excellent at literally making me LOL. Plus, he’s been consistent at communicating with me every day and several times throughout the day, which creates rapport and trust (rightly earned or not). Because B#2 is so witty, charming, and communicative, it makes me almost overlook the fact that he does have two kids and what sounds like a crazy ex. My head says, “BE SMART”, but my heart says, “Zippity-doo-dah-zippity-yay! My-oh-my what a wonderful day!”

Takeaway: Funny and charming men who have a way with words are just that. This does NOT mean that you’ll run off into the sunset with said funny and charming men, missy. Breathe. THINK. Focus on long-term goals. Still have 80 more days to go.

Around the Dating World in 90 Days – Date 5

Goals:

I’m committing to 90 days of social dating in order to

  1. Learn more about myself to gain clarity on who and what makes me happy and fulfilled in a romantic partnership
  2. Relax and have a great time

Bachelor #5
Location: Ballast Point

  1. On a level of 1-10 (1=We barely speak the same language, 10=We must know each other from past lives), rate your connection: 1
  2. Did I enjoy myself? Barely
  3. Do I like what he does for a living? Yes
  4. Does he care about self-development? Nope
  5. Did he treat me with kindness and respect? Yes
  6. Highlights:
    1. My glass of Cabernet was awwwesome!
    2. He has really nice eyes and a beard

What did I learn about myself on this date?
Wow, OK, to say that this man was as dry as the Sahara Desert probably isn’t completely fair. He’s super smart – he graduated from Cornell, has a law degree, and is thinking of getting his MBA or CPA. He’s a project manager and he thinks mistakes are unacceptable. He’s a hard worker, is tall, likes to play basketball, and is interested in estate planning. Plus, I liked his eyes and beard.

But man, oh man, I just felt zero, zip, nada, zilch connection. He was eyeing me a bit so I thought, Hmm…he’s got a pulse. But after that bit of aliveness in his eyes, I couldn’t find a vibe to meet him at. We talked a bit about his past relationship, but that returned a fairly dry answer and when I asked him what was he looking for that brought up more sand (figuratively speaking) that slipped so quickly through my mind that I can barely recall what he said. Before one hour was up I told him I had to go, gave him a hug, thanked him, and said it was nice to meet him.  I really do in my heart wish him luck with dating and hope I didn’t come across as abrupt or rude.

Takeaway: I can’t connect with a guy who’s uber logical or…I dunno…”dry.” He wasn’t offensive – just too in his head that I couldn’t feel him at all. And well, I’m all about the feels. So…next!

Around the Dating World in 90 Days – Date 4

Goals:

I’m committing to 90 days of social dating in order to

  1. Learn more about myself to gain clarity on who and what makes me happy and fulfilled in a romantic partnership
  2. Relax and have a great time

Bachelor #4
Location: Poway Weapons and Gear Range and Rockin’ Baja Lobster

  1. On a level of 1-10 (1=We barely speak the same language, 10=We must know each other from past lives), rate your connection: 8
  2. Did I enjoy myself? Yes.
  3. Do I like what he does for a living? Yes
  4. Does he care about self-development? Yes – Spiritual
  5. Did he treat me with kindness and respect? Yes
  6. Highlights:
    1. Talking for over 3 hours at the restaurant
    2. I love that he cared enough to call around and do research to see was the best shooting range to take me to

What did I learn about myself on this date?
Disclaimer: B#4 has been a friend of mine for many years and technically, when we planned this outing we weren’t making it “a date.” However, he’s single, I’m single and he picked me up and paid for the gun range and showed me a great time, so yeah, I will put that in the “date” category. Plus, he’s a great guy so I will flatter myself and say that it was. (And he said he would be happy to be on my 90 Day Tour, so there *sticks out tongue*)

Many people don’t necessarily know this about me, but my spiritual life is THE most important aspect of my life. It’s what drives me and living an inspired life is just that, an “In-Spirit” life. I was raised Catholic, though I’m not necessarily a big fan of dogma or institutions in general (sorry, Mom), but I believe in God, Spirit, The Universe, Jesus, Buddha, and I bow to the Divine in Me and in You (Namaste). So when I’m able to talk about my spiritual life to someone and have them share their spiritual life with me, the connection is strong and I feel a deep kinship. This connection/understanding is important in my friendships and in a partner for sure. B#4 is a believer and consciously focuses on his relationship with God/Jesus and this experience reinforced how much I value that.

Takeaway: A good friend can be an even better date! The qualities that make a good friend definitely translate to good dating material.

Around the Dating World in 90 Days – Date 3

Goals:

I’m committing to 90 days of social dating in order to

  1. Learn more about myself to gain clarity on who and what makes me happy and fulfilled in a romantic partnership
  2. Relax and have a great time

Bachelor #3
Location: Yakyudori (ramen) and Hammond’s Ice Cream

  1. On a level of 1-10 (1=We barely speak the same language, 10=We must know each other from past lives), rate your connection: 7
  2. Did I enjoy myself? Yes.
  3. Do I like what he does for a living? Yes
  4. Does he care about self-development? Yes – Traditional education
  5. Did he treat me with kindness and respect? Yes
  6. Highlights:
    1. When we passed by a church and he said “Let’s get married” <–very cute
    2. How my heart skipped a beat when he arrived at my door to pick me up

What did I learn about myself on this date?
I’ve known B#3 for over two years and at one point a while ago we were boyfriend and girlfriend. But it just didn’t work out for a variety of reasons.

However, I do appreciate his persistence and the effort he puts forth into making me feel like he wants only me and sees a future with me. Having that kind of certainty from a guy means A LOT. A lot of people are afraid to commit and are afraid of getting hurt, so when someone is so straightforward in their intentions it is refreshing.

Takeaway: Sometimes when a door closes it’s OK for it to re-open, especially if the door and the interior behind it has been updated to be more aligned with what I want.

 

Around the Dating World in 90 Days – Date 2

Goals:

I’m committing to 90 days of social dating in order to

  1. Learn more about myself to gain clarity on who and what makes me happy and fulfilled in a romantic partnership
  2. Relax and have a great time

Bachelor #2
Location: Rockin Baja Lobster

  1. On a level of 1-10 (1=We barely speak the same language, 10=We must know each other from past lives), rate your connection: 5
  2. Did I enjoy myself? Yes.
  3. Do I like what he does for a living? Yes
  4. Does he care about self-development? No
  5. Did he treat me with kindness and respect? Yes
  6. Highlights:
    1. When he said he was “old school” and believed in a man driving to the woman and paying for the date – Gentleman!
    2. When he confessed how technologically challenged he was that he couldn’t even highlight a cell in Excel from the “pouring cup” – haha!

What did I learn about myself on this date?
I had fun with B#2 – he is funny and light-hearted and I do enjoy that kind of company in general. What’s interesting is I ended up seeing him later on at Jimmy O’s when I went dancing with my girlfriends and he was very respectful and is a good dancer. He was easy to be around. Note: I felt a bit drained after Rockin Baja Lobster, then energized at Jimmy O’s. I suspect it might have to do with the fact that B#2 is more of a dancing around, interacting type guy rather than a sit-down-talk-about-deep-stuff type of guy.

Takeaway: Second dates are good to see my date “in their element.” If it’s something they enjoy doing and have fun doing, I like being around that (provided it doesn’t hurt anyone!)

Around the Dating World in 90 Days – Date 1

Goals:

I’m committing to 90 days of social dating in order to

  1. Learn more about myself to gain clarity on who and what makes me happy and fulfilled in a romantic partnership
  2. Relax and have a great time

Bachelor #1
Location: Seasons 52

  1. On a level of 1-10 (1=We barely speak the same language, 10=We must know each other from past lives), rate your connection: 5
  2. Did I enjoy myself? Yes.
  3. Do I like what he does for a living? Yes
  4. Does he care about self-development? Yes
  5. Did he treat me with kindness and respect? Yes
  6. Highlight: When he said I was one of the most genuine and transparent people he’s ever met

What did I learn about myself on this date?
I learned that my company is valuable and enjoyed by a man who, for a living, trains professional athletes, has his own business, and writes books. And he wants to see me again and vice versa.

Takeaway: I am awesome.