Around the World of Dating in 90 Days – Date 16

 

seasons52

Delicious dessert

I’m committing to 90 days of social dating in order to

  1. Learn more about myself to gain clarity on who and what makes me happy and fulfilled in a romantic partnership
  2. Relax and have a great time

Bachelor #6 Date 3
Location: AMC La Jolla 12 and Seasons 52

  1. On a level of 1-10 (1=We barely speak the same language, 10=We must know each other from past lives), rate your connection: 3
  2. Did I enjoy myself? EH
  3. Do I like what he does for a living? Yes
  4. Does he care about self-development? Yes
  5. Did he treat me with kindness and respect? No
  6. Highlights:
    1. I really like the theater. Reclining chairs FTW!
    2. Seasons 52: Great wine, lobster flatbread, saucy salmon, and then the desserts!! The desserts, OMG: we ordered the pecan pie and chocolate and peanut butter

What did I learn about myself on this date?
I learned that I don’t like men who say stuff like “You’re so hot” and “I want you” on our third date. Or maybe I just didn’t like this particular man saying that. But c’mon, really? He was getting all handsy at the movie theater and I had to be firm with him. I mean, how old are we?? I’m a grown woman and did NOT feel like fending off someone who was behaving like a horny teenager. I did like the movie (Wonder Woman) and made it clear that it was “movie” time, not “makeout” time, but he was pretty persistent which was annoying. Finally he settled down, after which he fell asleep not too long after.

I almost didn’t want to do the followup dinner afterwards, but I DO like Seasons 52, so I thought, why not? And there’s only so much canoodling he could do in a restaurant, right? So Seasons 52 was good food and thankfully, pretty decent conversation so B#6 was redeeming himself slightly, but then he started up the whole “I want you” talk again. I said I had an early morning the next day since my son had a basketball game. He didn’t seem to care about this bit of info (which only involved one of the most important people in my life), which cemented me not caring about him. If he was smart, and perhaps less horny, he would’ve remembered in my dating profile that I referred to my kids as the “two most important people in the world to me.” Needless to say I’m not seeing B#6 again.

Takeaway: I wasn’t able to tell on my first date with B#6 that he was such a horny toad. In all fairness, I understand that sex is important and men typically do have sex more on their minds than women do. But sheesh man, I would prefer a bit more finesse, romance, genuine care and etiquette in the pursuit of getting into my pants. Into my heart and mind first, then the pants.

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Around the Dating World in 90 Days – Date 15

microchip.jpg

Goals:
I’m committing to 90 days of social dating in order to

  1. Learn more about myself to gain clarity on who and what makes me happy and fulfilled in a romantic partnership
  2. Relax and have a great time

Bachelor #9 Date 3
Location: His house in Carmel Mountain

  1. On a of 1-10 (1=We barely speak the same language, 10=We must know each other from past lives), rate your connection: 9
  2. Did I enjoy myself? Yes
  3. Do I like what he does for a living? Yes
  4. Does he care about self-development? Yes
  5. Did he treat me with kindness and respect? Yes
  6. Highlights:
    1. He has a very nice, unpretentious, yet beautifully decorated and taken care of home
    2. His back patio looks like something out of Home and Garden, with two large rosemary bushes, and trees: apple, avocado, orange, fig
    3. Because he has a Masters in Electrical Engineering and he, apparently, likes to build, he put in all the lighting and sound system in his home
    4. He’s a great cook: he made dosas, chana masala, salmon, brown rice, broccoli and carrots
    5. He played a couple of different hand drums (yay! entertain me!)
    6. He showed pictures of and shared stories of his family
    7. It was the first date I’ve ever been on where I “played” with a microchip (see pic)
    8. He was a gentleman
    9. We talked till past 1am

What did I learn about myself on this date?
I like engineers who are creative braniacs, handy, and talented. And who like to feed me.

Takeaway: Hmm…I was hesitant about this one because he doesn’t have a steady stream of income due to his startup business. But it was obvious from the care and work he put into his home and with what he shared with me that he’s fully capable and not a deadbeat. I’m open to seeing him again.

Around the Dating World in 90 Days – Date 14

sammysGoals:
I’m committing to 90 days of social dating in order to

  1. Learn more about myself to gain clarity on who and what makes me happy and fulfilled in a romantic partnership
  2. Relax and have a great time

Bachelor One-That-I-Love [short version]
Bachelor One-That-I-Love-But-He-Won’t-Commit-After-2-Years-of-Dating [long version]
Location: Sammy’s Woodfired Pizza and The Lot in Point Loma

  1. On a of 1-10 (1=We barely speak the same language, 10=We must know each other from past lives), rate your connection: 10
  2. Did I enjoy myself? Yes
  3. Do I like what he does for a living? Yes
  4. Does he care about self-development? Yes
  5. Did he treat me with kindness and respect? Yes
  6. Highlights:
    1. As the description of this Bachelor states, I love him, so of course just being with him makes me view the world in technicolor: colors are brighter, food tastes better, and I’m really happy.
    2. The lebni bread and cheese at Sammy’s – yum yum, my favorite thing on their menu
    3. The Lot – what a great location for salsa dancing on Sunday nights! The last couple of ventures I had dancing brought me to a decidedly more senior demographic – like senior-senior, people who looked like they were in their 60s. But the Lot had a younger, more energetic, sexier crowd. And I thought, Well, hallelujah, the salsa community in San Diego is still alive and kicking instead of retiring taking their teeth out, and getting ready for bed.
    4. I was annoyed when he invited his female friend to hold onto him as she was recording the dance company perform since she was falling off the chair she was perched on to get a better view. It might sound strange to put this as a highlight, but the highlight was that I told him it annoyed me and why it did and he said, “You’re right.” Yes, I am right.
    5. He YouTubed how to change a headlight bulb of a New Beetle and then he changed it for me.

What did I learn about myself on this date?
After two years, Bachelor#2Years, still knows how to sweep me off my feet. It doesn’t hurt that he’s an excellent dancer and always plans fun dates for us. Someone who is fun and has high energy are factors that may mean more to me than I even realize. I may be an idiot for loving him still, though it really doesn’t feel like I have a choice in the matter. I’m doing what I can to detach, including my 90 days.

Takeaway: Heart and mind are still working on getting aligned. B#2Years most likely won’t ever change his non-committal ways or his penchant for befriending pretty ladies and then annoying me by flirting with said pretty ladies.

Around the Dating World in 90 Days – Date 13

Goals:

I’m committing to 90 days of social dating in order to

  1. Learn more about myself to gain clarity on who and what makes me happy and fulfilled in a romantic partnership
  2. Relax and have a great time

Bachelor #9 Date 2
Location: Torch and Blarney Stone Pub

  1. On a level of 1-10 (1=We barely speak the same language, 10=We must know each other from past lives), rate your connection: 8
  2. Did I enjoy myself? Yes
  3. Do I like what he does for a living? Yes
  4. Does he care about self-development? Yes
  5. Did he treat me with kindness and respect? Yes
  6. Highlights:
    1. It was past 10:00pm and I was out salsa dancing with my girlfriend and he still made the effort to come out and see me. If I didn’t enjoy his company I wouldn’t extend the invite, but he said he missed me and I have to say I was impressed with his quick follow-up after our first date. Our first date was on Wednesday and this semi-date was on Friday.
    2. After he drove me home there was a woman at the front of my complex who was totally out of it – looked like she was under the influence of something: drugs or alcohol or both. He stopped to help her even though he seemed totally at a loss at what to do, and called me. Honestly at first I was annoyed that he got me involved (uh, why are you involving me in what could potentially be a dangerous situation??) but then I saw all these other cars passing by and how they didn’t even care to help. I appreciate that he was being a Good Samaritan and that not knowing what to do didn’t stop him and he reached out to me since I’m a woman who may not be as threatening to another woman and this person may possibly be my neighbor. We called the paramedics and waited for the ambulance to come.

What did I learn about myself on this date?
At the pub after salsa dancing, he paid for my beer and offered to get my friend something (she didn’t want anything). I’m not a big fan of beer, but we all wanted to talk more about business and startups and for some reason, bars frown upon people who just want to sit and talk and drink water. So we had some beer and as all three of us were chatting about business I learned how important it is for me to be with someone who is intellectually on the same or, in this case, smarter wavelength. I mean, this guy is a brainiac with two engineering degrees, an MBA, and a partridge in a pear tree. (kidding about the partridge).

Takeaway: B#9 doesn’t have a lot of money at the moment, but he has drive, ambition, and most importantly a good heart. And he has assets. So yeah, that helps.